Heartache and Laughter


I think it’s safe to say we have all had heartaches.  Some are small and some are big.  When I was a teen my mom died.  She was only 40, battled cancer and left us far too soon.  My heart was broken.  I physically was ill and felt like I had an actual hole in my heart.  A part of me was missing.  I can’t even write these words without getting weepy.  The reminder of that pain can actually make my heart hurt like that all over again.  This was all 30, yes THIRTY, years ago. Continue reading

Laughing Is My Favorite

I always love a good laugh!  I mean who doesn’t?  You know in the movie Elf when he says, “Smiling is my favorite.”?  Well,  laughing is my favorite!  Laughing feels good, it warms the soul.  It makes things feel better even if they aren’t. Some of my roughest times in my life I got through because of laughter.  I was a teen when my mom died, but laughter was always part of our house so laughing is a comfort to me.  One day, maybe a year after my mom had died, a friend was driving me home from school.  My grief was heavy that day and I started crying.  It all seemed too much to bear.  So there I was crying while my friend was driving, poor thing she probably had no idea what to do.  She was just a kid herself and these were adult like problems we were dealing with.  After a few minutes of my crying my friend did something so unexpected and so funny.  She broke out in song (yes, car singing again).  She belted out “I said a bird, bird ,bird, bird is the word.”  There I was in my veil of heavy greif…laughing and crying at the same time. It felt so good. It was just what I needed, a good laugh.  It filled me up when I was feeling empty. It restored my soul, it brought me, back to me.  It’s like God’s grace… All who are weary… Come and find rest.  I found rest that day rest from my greif and it felt so good.   If you would have told me that day in the car as i was crying with the heaviest of hearts, “Let me sing you a song and ease your pain, ” I would have laughed out loud.  Some people feel that way about God.  How can something or someone you cant see ease a pain so big?  But he did.  When my bestie wasn’t there to sing to me, he was there.  No, calling on God didn’t bring my mom back or take away the years of grief to come, far from it.  But he eased my pain when I needed it most.  He found me in the darkest of moments and shed new light I had not seen before.  He still does today.

My mom wasn’t with us for long but she gave me and my brother a great gift.  She showed us what it was like to walk with Christ. To lean on him always.  To go to him for your needs and trust that HE was going to care for you.  Let him be your comforter, he knows what we need.  There is a song I love that says it all so well….

In Christ alone, my hope is found, he is my light my strength, my song.  My comforter my all and all here in the love of Christ I stand.

Do you ever feel like you need to be restored?  Bring the YOU back to YOU? there is hope. Let God lift your veil and give you comfort. Just ask him. But still let that bestie sing to you  because God gave you those friends to sing, laugh and grow old with….